Ashes to Ashes
by Fuurou
Summary: RoyEd. One-shot. Roy puts a whole new meaning in the phrase 'ashes to ashes.' "When I die, promise me you won't do anything drastic. I want you to be safe... please don't let yourself waste away." "You know I can't promise you that, Ed."


They laid silently beneath the covers that night, turned on their sides to face each other in an almost-cuddle. Ed's hazel eyes were steady and calm, a contrast to the dark bags beneath them; his smile was serene, a relief to the exhausted lines on his face. Overall... he seemed so peaceful. It was wrong. "Aren't you scared?" Roy asked in a quiet whisper. "Not when you're here," Ed answered after a slight pause. He lifting a hand to tenderly brush away dark hair from his lover's shining, obsidian eyes. Roy's breath hitched in his throat, and he cursed himself for finally letting his emotions have the better of him. He captured Ed's delicate hand in his, bringing them to rest, clasped, on his cheek as a single tear fell from the corner of his eye to the pillow beneath their heads. Ed's smile wilted a little at the sight of the man that he had grow to love in such a pathetic state.

"Don't cry, love. You know we'll meet again," he pleaded, swallowing past the lump in his throat. "I love you... so, so much. I'm so glad I met you." He felt so tired, so cold... was this really all he could do? Both of his arms felt like they were made of faulty automail; he couldn't reach out and hug his Roy. And the mattress was so soft. He wish he were sitting up- it might have been enough to delay the inevitable. With a soft sigh, he whispered a barely audible "I love you" and closed his eyes. Roy's hand convulsively tightened on his. They felt so warm... Roy pulled him into an embrace that he could no longer feel, crying out his name in a flurry of heartbroken sobs.

'Gomenasai... Roy...'

-----

He didn't know how long he cried, or when exactly his sobs turned into screams of grief. Without the beating of his lover's heart against his, he no longer felt human; Roy felt as dead as the body he held so carefully to his chest. The coldness... it seeped into him, and washed away his remaining strength. His screams died in his throat, but his eyes remained wide and unseeing. He was absently grateful Ed had the decency to close his eyes before drifting off, so he wouldn't have to close them.

His breathing was irregular, as was his pulse. Roy knew he was slipping into shock, but he no longer cared. As if a bucket of cold water had been poured onto his vulnerable body, he felt that his flame was forever extinguished. Part of his heart was missing, and he despised the feel of it. Pain... pain was easy to deal with, to distance himself from, but the sense of loss was unbearable...

He wished, not for the first time, that Ed could have died quickly.

It was all too much...

-----

The funeral was everything Roy thought it would be: black, cold, miserable, wet. Roy hated it. There were so many people. So many people who didn't truly know Ed, and some who were complete strangers to Roy. The ceremony itself was ludicrous; on and on, the unknown priest babbled about life after death, sprouting verses from the bible and letting people stand up and recount their experiences with the Fullmetal Alchemist. What a load of bullshit. Even if it wasn't common knowledge, it was clear that Ed was an athiest, like himself. Roy could almost feel Ed's presence next to him, cracking jokes about the verses and complaining about what a waste of time the entire thing was. A couple of times, Roy found himself laughing almost hysterically at the imagined expletives. The priest politely paused during these outbursts, and the people in the church glanced over at the older man in pity.

'There's nothing I can do about it, Ed!' he thought dismally. 'The funeral was the Fuhror's idea...'

The appearance of the flowers was the last straw. They had brought roses with them. _Roses_. A blinding mixture of red and pink, at that! It was sickening. Ed grew to hate roses; Roy speculated it was because they were Ed's mother's favorite flower. So Roy came with a white lily. It was the same flower he had given Ed on their first date as an apology for arriving late- he had fallen asleep on his desk while signing paperwork. Ed proclaimed he would have to give him a rose every other time he arrived late, and it became their favorite flower. Roy wanted to leave, to leave and never come back, but he had something he needed to take care of after the procession.

He watched from a distance as his lover's casket was slowly lowered into sodden earth, but he didn't cry. His tears had dried up at the house. The man waited in silence as they went up one by one, and deposited their damned roses. He was determined. The rain fell on his still form. He gave a faint smile as it dribbled off the white lily, but remained on the roses. He was closest to the casket the entire time. Everyone but him was quick to leave in order to escape the rain.

When the coast was clear, Roy collapsed to his knees and clawed at the wet dirt, scooping it out in handfuls. Now and then, he would hit stones. They scratched up his hands, but he could barely feel the sharp stings of pain. He lashed out at the ground in fury, quickly making progress on the newly dug grave. He had kept silent for too damn long. The scenario had been running through his head for quite a while now - he knew what he had to do, even if Ed definitely wasn't going to like it. 'It beats a soulless existence!' he thought furiously.

_"I'd rather be castrated than buried 6 feet underground with maggots feasting on my corpse!"_ Edward's voice echoed in his head, and he felt laughter bubbling up. _"I want to be cremated..." _He really had to stop that, or people would believe he was a madman. _"You can do it, right? Make sure I get cremated?" _He had been mad a long time, though, ever since he had met the Fullmetal Alchemist.

One foot...

_"Where... who would you give the ashes to?"_

Two feet...

_"Roy..."_

Three feet...

_"Yeah?"_

"I want to die with you!"

_"I want to die with you."_

Four feet...

_"W...What are you talking about? Such a sensitive topic... and we still have the rest of our lives ahead of us!"_

Five feet...

_"I want us to be cremated together. I want our ashed to be mixed. That way, we'd be together forever... right?"_

Six feet.

_"I guess... if that's what you want."_

Roy's soiled fingernails met the unyeilding wood of the sleek coffin, and he desperately brushed away the remaining dirt. Without effort, he pushed himself to the side and flung open the black lid. He whimpered a little at the sight of his angel's slack face. With a shaking hand, he touched Edward's cheek, hissing at the prominent coldness. They'd buried him in a suit, of course. They didn't know he'd always despised wearing anything other than his usual outfit. His hair was down, though, and his prized pocketwatch was poking out of the breast pocket.

But it was all gone now...

"Don't worry, love," Roy uttered with trembling lips. "We'll be together again soon enough."

It took a bit of maneuvering to get both himself and Edward's body out of the grave. The coffin was abandoned behind them. Roy hunched over the boy in his arms, focused only on keeping him as dry as possible. Quickly, he trudged through the downpour to his waiting car, and carefully placed Ed in the back seat. It didn't take more than five minutes to drive back to their house. There was no traffic, despite it being midday.

_"Finally! That took hours!"_

_"Well, if __**someone**__ hadn't insisted on bringing more than ten boxes of books with him..."_

_"Says the moron who refused to leave any furniture behind! We could have just bought more, you know!" _

_"Hey, we only got that sofa a few months ago. It still needs breaking in!'_

_"...whatever."_

_"Ha."_

Cradling Edward in his arms once again, he walked through the front door. Their house was small, but cozy. The colors were mediums; nothing too bright or dark. There were a couple of pictures hung on the wall, a few paintings here and there...

_"You... paint?"_

_"Yeah. I painted a bit when I was young, and kept it up afterwards. I'm good, right?"_

_"Mm... more than good. Say, how do you feel about nude models?"_

_"Roy!"_

_"I love you."_

_"Tch. Bastard."_

Roy walked up the carpeted staircase and stopped on the second floor, his eyes blurring at the onslaught of more memories.

_"...I like this."_

_"Hm?"_

_"Just... being with you, I guess."_

_"Is that so?"_

_"Roy, stop it."_

_"Stop what?"_

_"Do you have a fetish? 'Cause that's the third time today-"_

_"But I __**like**__ your hair. It's shiny!"_

_"Fuck you."_

_"I think I'd like to fuck you more."_

_"Is that so?"_

_"If I say 'yes?'"_

_"...what the hell are you waiting for? An invitation?"_

_"Sure."_

_"Okay. Please fuck me."_

_"You make me a very happy man, Edward Elric."_

He had intentionally left the bedroom door open when he left for the funeral. Stopping in the doorway, he unconsciously tightened his hold on his slight lover. He took a deep breath and walked over to the bed to gently placed Edward in it. With deft precision, he took off the boy's suit, unbuttoning the white shirt with numb fingers. The shoes followed the shirt, and the pants followed the shoes. With that done, Roy pulled the comforter over Ed's corpse and walked over to the door to shut it with a soft click.

_"Ed... you're awake."_

_"W-What happened?"_

_"You collapsed again."_

_"Oh..."_

_"I...I was so scared... I thought... fuck..."_

_"Roy... please don't cry."_

_"Don't say that, of course I'm going to cry... you're fucking dying, Ed."_

_"You think I don't know that already? It's going to happen. You should accept it while there's still time."_

_"You... you promised me we'd die together. Don't you remember...?"_

_"I... I do. I'm so sorry..."_

_"Don't apologize, Ed... I know it's out of your control. If... if things were different, you'd stay with me forever, right?"_

_"Of course. Don't ever question that."_

He peeled off his own soaked clothes, and tossed them uncaringly in a corner. He sat on the bed next to his lover, and pulled open his bedside drawer. The white gloves rested innocently, an ironic contrast to the dark wood.

_"Roy? You're home early today. Don't tell me you actually finish your paperwork early?"_

_"...I resigned."_

_"What?"_

_"..."_

_"But what about becoming Fuhrer?! Why are you just throwing it away?"_

_"You're more important than any whimsical dream."_

_"But I don't want you to be miserable because of me..."_

_"Hey, I'll never be. Not as long as you're here. I swear I don't need anything else..."_

_"Roy... you know we can't..."_

_"I know."_

Roy effortlessly pulled on one of the white gloves, watching in fascination as it concealed his bruised and bleeding hand. Sliding under the comforter, he pulled his love in his arms. His lip curled into a silent snarl at the freezing skin that met his: Edward had always been so warm...

_"When I die..."_

_"Ed..."_

_"When I die, promise me you won't do anything drastic. I want you to be safe... and happy. Don't let yourself waste away."_

_"...you know I can't promise you that, Ed."_

He snapped his fingers.

Flames quickly engulfed the room, starting with the closed curtains and creeping across the walls; the wallpaper peeled away in holes. The carpet soon followed suit. It was a beautiful inferno, and the bed was last to go. Roy pulled off the glove in the sweltering chaos, and reached behind him to place it calmly in the bedside drawer and shut it. He couldn't hear the sound of wood meeting wood over the roaring of the flames. Roy gratefully accepted the heat of the fire; now, he could almost fool himself into believing that they were about to go to sleep together after a long, eventful day of work. As the fire licked at the side of he bed, he smiled and empty smile.

"Ashes to ashes..." Roy whispered into Edward's ear, petting his hair to soothe him. Edward would not have liked this situation, he knew. But it seemed appropriate, if a little unorthadox. Roy convulsed as the flame finally engulfed their bodies, biting back the sure screams of agony and pulling the boy even tighter to his chest. It really was a horrible thing, the feeling of being burned alive. Fighting back the urge to get the hell _out_ of there, or to at least try to protect himself, was difficult. Roy could _feel_ his skin melting at a torturously slow rate to reveal muscle; his hair caught fire, and and quickly made its unyeilding path to his skull, prickling his forehead with sharp, agonizingly hot blades. He closed his eyes and prayed for an end, although it was his penance for remaining alive for so much longer after his love.

Roy didn't know how long it took for his soul to distance itself from his body, to actually die. He _did_ know it was well after he could feel a few parts of his body blacken to a crisp. He didn't know if their ashes truly "mixed" together, or if the house stayed standing once the fire left the bedroom. He certainly didn't stick around long enough to find out who found the corpses. Roy had been able to grant Edward's request, however twisted the outcome, and his only regret was that he didn't do it sooner. He should never have let his Edward be buried like that...

But it was all over now...

'Ed... stay wherever you are for a moment longer. I'm on my way. Soon... we'll be together forever.'

* * *

A/N: Well, this was a twisted little one-shot I wrote quite a while ago. Hope ya like it. It hath been revamped for added goodness! Please review... I spent three hours revising it, and I'm exhausted. It'll only take a minute or two out of your no doubt busy life, and it'll give me some feedback. You don't even need to be a member to do it!


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